Why I'm Still Single

 

 As I was reading an article about relationships, it sparked a burning desire to share my heart on the matter. 

 Like every other decision in life, who you decide to spend time with is a choice that should be guided by the Holy Spirit. Only He knows who will truly be a friend to you and help you reach your destiny, or who could ultimately destroy you.

 I'm a girl just like every other girl. Since childhood my ultimate dream has been to be a wife and mother. I imagined my wedding day, played mommy with my baby dolls... the whole nine yards. However, I made some big life commitments at a young age.

 While I was still a pre-teen, I made the decision not to date. My parents didn't make that decision for me but I'm pretty sure they were glad I did. I wanted my teen years to be years of developing myself into the young woman God had called me to be. I wanted to solidify who I am, what my dreams are, and who God is to me. My focus was to develop my relationships with God, my family, and my friends. I learned how to treat the young men around me like brothers in Christ.

 As I was approaching young adulthood, it seemed as if a lot of the guys I knew started developing feelings for me at lightning speed. I knew I had a choice to make. How was I going to handle relationships after age 18? How was I going to determine if someone is a possible life partner? Was I going to date, court, or abstain from romantic relationships altogether? But just like every other decision I make, I didn't consult people first. My first stop was to talk to Jesus.

 When you have committed to keeping Jesus at the center of it all, those big life questions become easier to tackle. It is no longer a question of "Who is going to be the right one for me?" but rather, "Who am I called to love and will this relationship please the heart of my Heavenly Father?"

 In this day and age, we live in a culture of "what's in it for me?" So much so, that the way God designed relationships to be about loving others the way He loves us, gets ignored and most often forgotten. As a result, we see a culture of hurt, abused, mistreated, and brokenhearted people. I have decided that it stops with me. Maybe I can't mend every hurting heart, but I can do my part of not adding to this world's brokenness. Just like Jesus was called to heal the broken hearts, so am I to minister His love to every person that comes across my path... as well as to make wise decisions when it comes to relationships.

 I should not be responsible for why a young man misses out on God's master plan for his life. Instead, I should be encouraging every brother in Christ to walk with Jesus and be steadfastly protecting his heart while doing so.

 So every time a young man starts hinting that they want to be more than just friends, I put it to the test.

1. First, I lay it on the altar and I say, "Jesus, if this is what You have for me, then put it through Your Holy fire and refine it like pure gold and precious silver. If this is not what You desire then let it go no further." Guess what? It works every time.

2. I, also, check in my heart for peace. Now, I'm not talking about the absence of a sick feeling in your stomach. Peace is more like a warm honey, melted butter kind of feeling in your middle. You just know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, even if your mind doesn't always agree.

3. Next, I take out my "husband list". No, this is not a list with the names of potential mates. This is the list I have prayed over. It is the list that God has given me with specific qualities and details to look for.

4. When a young man passes those tests, it is time for me to talk with my family. I take my parents’ opinions into consideration. How do they see this young man? How do they see the two of us together? My parents have been around much longer than I have, so there is definitely wisdom to tap into.

How does this person get along with my siblings? Do they bring tension or peace? You see, there are so many more people involved in relationships than we seem to think about.

 I don't take the relationships in my life casually. To me, there is no such thing as entering into a romantic relationship just for the fun of it. To do so, is to swing the door wide open for the enemy to step in and cause chaos. Too many destinies are at stake. There must be a purpose beyond myself.

  I firmly believe that friendship is of the utmost importance. If we are not friends first, I'm probably not going to pursue a romantic relationship with you, unless The Lord directs me otherwise. Marriage is basically friendship at it's most intimate level.

 Do I plan on getting married one day? I most certainly do! That is why I'm not wasting my time on people who don't match up with the destiny God has for me. I've seen too many stuck with a spouse whose calling is so polar opposite from their own. As a result, there is not oneness of mind, singleness of purpose, one thriving vision. The Bible even says, in Ecclesiastes, "How can two walk together unless they be agreed?" Marriage is a man and a woman becoming one with Christ and each other. If you stick with the way the Creator designed His creation, you will see the creation working in its fullest capacity. No one uses a microwave to store ice cream. Why? Because the microwave was never created to store ice cream. If you store ice cream in the microwave, you are asking for one sticky mess.

 Yes, I'm still single, and no, I have never been in a romantic relationship. But guess what? It doesn't bother me one single bit, because I know that God has perfect timing and marriage is not my season at this moment. When my season changes, I will know. Right now I'm focused on loving Jesus and loving His children. It's the most wonderful life I could ever ask for. I'm having exciting adventures with Jesus all the time.

 I just wanted to encourage y'all, that you don't have to give in to the pressure. Just enjoy Jesus. Enjoy life. Do what He is calling you to do in this season of your life. He will take care of the rest.